BLOG POST 5 - Audio

Word count: 556

When you love someone, you’ve gotta trust them. There’s no other way. You’ve got to give them the key to everything that’s yours. Otherwise, what’s the point? If only I’d known that sooner. I thought my wife was cheating on me, and I took it to an extreme. What? Don’t look at me like that, like you’re completely innocent too. You’re telling me you never, in your entire life, thought someone was lying to you? It’s human nature – it’s in our blood to develop suspicion. All it takes, all it took, was just one, tiny, itty bitty thought. Then this demon, this monster called curiosity starts looking at that thought. It makes it grow, bigger and bigger until you can’t sleep at night. Until you start thinking of every possible scenario every second of your life. Maria worked at a call center from 9 to 5. She kept saying she had to stay late at work because of overtime, or volunteer at the local animal shelter. One night, I came to her work, surprising her with dinner. She wasn’t there. Funny enough, her boss, Adam, wasn’t there either. If you knew what I knew, the way his smug face looked at my wife at her holiday party, you’d get suspicious too. Wouldn’t you? You would, right? Right? It was then when my suspicions took an extreme. I started questioning everything she said, even when she said she was just going to the grocery store. Wouldn’t you? You would do it, too right? Right? I loved her, I loved everything about her – I couldn’t risk it. I looked at her paystubs – no overtime salary. One day, around 5 pm, I followed where she went. It was Adam’s house. What kind of man would do such a thing? You understand now, where I’m coming from right? She was definitely cheating on me, me following her – there was nothing wrong with that right? Right? The next day, I decided to give Adam a visit. It wasn’t supposed to be anything crazy, ok, I was just going to ask him a couple questions. But you, you have to understand that at this point, I was dying on the inside. I cringed at the thought of what he was doing to my wife. I opened the door – it was unlocked. I went to his liquor cabinet, poured myself some whisky and waited for him to come out. The knife on the table – I didn’t put it there – it was just there. You get what I had to do right? Right? I never meant for the knife to stab him – it just escalated out of nowhere. You understand what I did right? You get what I had to do, you would’ve done the same right? You, you would’ve done the same right? No. no. you wouldn’t have. Turns out Adam was a night instructor at the community college. Mary was trying to get her graduate degree and wanted to surprise me. Worst part is being Adam’s husband, saw the dead body in the kitchen and the knife in my hand. I ran out. I didn’t know what to do. So, I’m recording this. But you get what I did right. You understand my story – It wasn’t who I really am. I’m not. I’m not. I’m not a murderer. I’m not a murderer.